I'm Sorry, Anonymous Caller

This morning I got a phone call from the RNC (Republican National Committee), trying to scare me about the Evils of Health Care Reform. It didn't take the young woman on the other end of the line very long to get to the part where the government was trying to get power to decide if my doctor could treat me or whether my grandmother would be allowed to live. That's when I broke my silence and spoke up.

"That's not true."

There was a surprised pause, and then she repeated the last bit in the hopes that, with the second telling, I would get the subtleties I clearly missed the first go-round.

"But that's not true," I repeated. "Health care is a complicated issue, and what you're saying are talking points meant to scare people."

At this point she was a little flustered, and I was frustrated and angry. That's when I said what I now regret... "I don't have to listen to this shit."

My anger toward the message, coming as it did on an otherwise quiet Saturday morning, was quickly replaced with anger toward myself. Why do I ever use obscenities in conversation? It doesn't matter if I believe that what is being spoken is obscene, it just doesn't work. As soon as the potty talk comes into the conversation, every valid point I might have offered goes out the window. It is the singularly most counterproductive element to oral discourse.

What I should have said is "When I hear these false statements coming from my own party, I feel humiliated. It is as if our platform is to make people as scared and stupid as possible. It demeans us all."

Instead, I demeaned myself, and I spoke in harsh language to this young woman.

I hope she was getting paid for her calling, and not doing it as a volunteer. I can appreciate how hard it is to get a job in this economy. I might say things I don't believe in order to pay my rent. I get that.

Nevertheless, if I had it to do over again, I would have shown her the civility I long for in our public discourse right now. Instead I fell into the trap myself. If the regret I have been feeling since that call is any indication of the depth of the lesson learned through this experience, I won't be uncivil to anyone ever again.

So to you, anonymous caller, I'm sorry for what I said. If it's any consolation, because of you I will not do that again. And I'm glad, at least, I did not hang up on you, but that we exchanged good-byes before we disconnected. That civility, at least, we were able to maintain.